Helping you communicate assertively

Here at Lifeskills Centre, we love helping clients to find new ways to improve communication in both their professional and their personal lives. Our counsellors and psychologists have plenty of tools and resources to help – here are a few of them that you can start using straight away:

 

If you’re communicating aggressively…

 

  You might come across as – angry or impatient, loud, explosive, controlling, aggressively honest, blunt, or in a huge outburst of anger, making you look like a bully.

 

  Your body language and expressions might be – over the top, using patronising gestures such as finger pointing or eye rolling.

 

  Verbally you use words like – always, never, once and for all, judgemental words, critical words, patronising language, ‘my way or the highway’ type statements, threatening words or you might just be hurtfully honest.

 

  You make others feel – intimidated, small, inadequate, useless, stupid, fearful or anxious, dis-empowering them or preventing them from their own growth.

 

If you’re communicating passively…

 

  You might come across as – emotional, sad, despairing, throwing temper tantrums, whining voice, like you’re avoiding, running away from issues, not taking responsibility or blaming others.

 

  Your body language and expressions might be – rolling eyes, shrugging shoulders, teasing, speaking behind your hand, raising hand to speak, squirming and giggling.

 

  Verbally you use words like – I wish, I don’t know, I want, I’m going to, I don’t care, Oh no, not again, Things never go right for me, Worst day of my life, It’s all too hard, I can’t be bothered, No one takes me seriously, you might be blaming others, whining, complaining or using baby talk.

 

  You make others feel – like they have to be the responsible one, anxious – because they can’t be honest with you, angry – because they will have to do what you’re not doing, frustrated, annoyed or tired. When we communicate assertively… You might come across as – attentive, interested, straight- forward, nonthreatening and non-threatened, self confident, with high self esteem. Verbally you use words like – Why, What, How, Who, Where and When, How much, In what way – comparative expressions, reasoned statements, true, false, probably, possibly, I think, I realise, I see, I believe, In my opinion – being diplomatic and appropriately honest. When we communicate assertively, we make others feel – equal, strong, on the same page, respected, in control, firm – creating healthy boundaries and positive friendships or relationships.Remember, if you don’t own it, you can’t fix it. Let’s all practice the art of assertive communication and see how much better our relationships can be. This is just a snippet of the type of areas we cover in our Communication Workshops. If you feel the communication in your workplace could do with an overhaul call us today for further information about our workshops.